Dreams...
Dreams are funny things. Sometimes they can have so much meaning and sometimes they are just continuations of our pleasant thoughts. I think it all depends on what YOU want to think of them after you've had one. I don't put too much stock in my dreams because mine are so strange and I remember every little detail.
Mr. R had a dream last night... and I can tell it bothered him. I think he is thinking too much about the Hep C he has been diagnosed with... and possible us. Here's his dream with his questions following:
"There were a bunch of people, some I knew and others I didn�t holding me and some other people hostage. I think they were doing a robbery. At the end of the robbery they killed all the hostages. The strange part of it is that I think my brother was one of the hostages but they didn�t kill him. They knew him and let him live so I thought I was safe too. I wasn�t. I ran from the place that they were holding us, which was like an out door setting but it seemed like a house too. There was a path that led upstairs and the trees were the doors.
After I saw that they didn�t kill my brother because they knew him, I made a run for it outside of the place. I ran down a hill and through a swampy field, I noticed that there was a guy guarding that area but I knew him. GZ, I tried to get away but he caught up to me. I just gave up and he shot me in the head with a pistol with little remorse, like it was his job.
At that point everything went white and the next thing I knew I was a ghost, watching my family. C (the wife), the kids, my Mom were all at a Christmas gathering. Sometimes I could make my presence known by screaming real loud or touching them and other times I just followed them around. They knew I was there or at least present with them.
C still had the kids with her and she was alone, no man.
People were sad but were trying to have a good time anyway. They knew I was there
I woke up and had to wake C up just to sure that I wasn�t really dead, it was so real.
I wonder now if that is how it will be when I die. I wonder if I will be watching what is going on in my life after I die. I wonder if that�ll be my hell, to see life go by without me.
I wonder now if there are ghosts all around us and we don�t even know it."
So what do you think? I think he is feeling uncertain about his present situation - trapped in a sense. Yet part of me says it was just a dream that continued his thoughts of wondering how he'll die. Who knows.
On another note... we had lunch yesterday. Special lunch - it was very hot and very worth it. Once again. He said it was his best "O" he's had with me ever. It was really good....
10:06 a.m. - 2005-06-02
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