Wednesday evening.
Well I had my surgery Monday. It went okay, but the post op pain is unbelievable. I am so moody. Right now I'm home with the girls and cant get one minute to myself. Which is making me even more irritable. Ughhh. So I figured I better get this entry typed. It is actually for wednesday.
This morning i sent off the daily horcopes to R. I pointed out how mine had to do wtih procrastination.............ughhh. He said it was right on. I know it is. I wish I could just say what i want and tell my husband we are wasting our time staying married. Nothing will ever change..... and that's probably what he's banking on. I just don't have any where to go or anyone to run to. So i stay. As long as I stay at least my girls are happy.
Mr. R was telling me he wants to lose 20# so he can wear a speedo at home. LOL. A speedo?? I begged him to show it to me sometime. He said he would........I'm going to hold him to that for sure. Nice image.....
He is working on burning me another cd for me using mp3 files. I love the one he did for me last week. It's awesome...i love how the titles come up on my display in my car. And he let me pick the music. He probably doesn't have any clue how much it means to me....it means alot. Well time for a pain killer....I'm just getting so irritable!!
So since I didn't get to enter this one on Friday, June 17th...here it is:
FRIDAY - This was such a weird week. The thumb surgery left me in pain...Kway more than I expected. I made it to work Tuesday all day (had lunch with R). That was just okay. Then I had worked most of the day Wednesday. But Thursday I woke up around 2AM with a MAJOR migraine. YIKES!!! I just wanted to die!!!! It hurt so bad. I only last two hours at work and R asked me to go to lunch. You know I had to be sick if I couldn't join him. So we went today. He gave me two CD's. One of a movie DT and the other was of a bunch a files with mp3. Music he likes too. That made me happy.
We didnt even go anywhere to eat (i couldnt eat today). Not that Im complaining....we made out instead. I'll take that ANY DAY!!!! I couldnt help but tell him I loved him, and he said he loved me too. WOW!!! Been several months since he has said that...but I sensed it. We just know neither of us will make a move to improve our home situations till the other one does. I'm still banking on it being me with or without him. I love my girls, but not my husband. I love my family, but not my life. Yeah.....I know it'll be me to move first. I just wonder when will it be - probably when i cant stand this life no more Or when my husband decides he cant stand not having love anymore. I feel like a pawn in a chess match.
Anyway....he left me on cloud nine. They are doing a big server move this afternoon and weekend. I��ll be thinking of him.....and smiling.
9:44 a.m. - 2005-06-16
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