On another note...
I've been having some really horrible dreams this past week and they have changed in nature but one thing remains the same in each dream....
Rod is in them and in each one he's a complete stranger to me.
The first dream was the girls and I were kidnapped by a stranger (rod). He tied us up and forced us into a care. He was confused and disoriented and I just knew he was going to hurt us, but I just wanted to save my girls. So when the opportunity came, I had to push them out of a car while it was moving to take a chance they would survive. They were okay. He then stabbed me because he was mad that I foiled his plans, but with each time he stabbed me I felt pain, but I was getting stronger. I finally had enough strength to get myself over the seat to attack him. I got the knife away from him, but I didn't know what to do. I knew I didn't want to stab him back....so I used it to quick untie my hands. By then the car had stopped and police snipers had a clear shot at him. They were telling me to cover my face so I couldn't see what was about to happen and I just kept screaming don't do it.... then I woke up.
I had a few more bizarre dreams during the week that I can't remember as much detail.
. Then last night I had a dream that I was working for a spy agency, under-cover. Why not I looked like an average person who could fit in just about anywhere. I had to sneak into a big party at a hotel somewhere. I had strict instructions to go in and retrieve two envelopes and some documents from a high-ranking politician. I had no idea what they were for or who they would destroy or benefit, I was just doing my job, doing what I was told to do. I worked my way in having conversation with strangers pretending I knew what I was talking about. Started talking to the politican with white hair flattering him with compliments and flashing an occasional flirty smile. When he offerred to get me a drink I grabbed the papers and hid them under my jacket. I asked the politician to hold my drink for me while I needed to go freshen up. I knew I had to make my exit quickly before he realized what happened. As I was leaving my eyes met with a stranger leaning against a stairwell. He seemed bored, but when our eyes met we had an immediate connection. Yeah this stranger was rod. I knew I should look away so I did. I continue to work my way out of the crowd towards the door to leave but he caught up with me. He asked me my name and I ignored his question. I told him I was in a bit of a hurry and had to leave, but didn't want to seem panicky. We talked very briefly, then he grabbed me and kissed me. Oh GOD that kiss felt so right! I couldn't fight what I was feeling so we had decided to run off to a dark section of lawn within the hotel grounds. We had wild passionate sex (wet dream woohooo). When we were finished I said I have to leave. He asked me my name again and how could he reach me. I told him there was no point, it was nice, but I was too complicated for him and he would only regret it, so I left. Several miles down the road I realized that I had lost my cell phone....probably on the lawn. I wondered if he had it or if it was still there, so I had to return. When I got there, he was still standing there like he was waiting for me to come back. He looked at me with his devilish smile. He was holding my phone and said "I know who you are now" and you'll never get away from me again, then raised his eyebrows like he was saying "so there". I wanted to be happy that I was discovered and that someone finally knew who I was....but yet I was also very scared. Was that what I really wanted I kept asking myself... then I woke up.
8:43 a.m. - 2005-08-07
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