I love my lunches with Rod. I just never want them to end...
He knew I was sad because I was leaving this weekend for OBX for two weeks and wouldnt' get to see him, but will probably talk through e-mail and on the phone. Not the same as physical attention...but it'll do.
He just asked me not to give up and not to doubt that he's doing everything in his power to get to me. Assured me it wasn't the case. I need to believe that, but some days he's very negative about things and sounds like he's the one who has given up hope on us. Plus there's the whole I COULDN'T DO IT incident - I'm guarded. He can't blame me.
I found a place to rent last night. A very nice townhouse for me and my girls. Its not huge, but its nice. He said several times today at lunch he was really envious. I know he is. Its so nice knowing I can breath and will have a place to go home to that I'll actually want to be. I can talk to my friends without being judged, watch what I want on tv without being judged and rest with my girls - ALONE. Swwwweeet. I cannot wait. Appears I'll be able to move in when I get back from vacation. My landlady is letting me move in a month early for free. She's really nice.
4:01 p.m. - 2005-08-18
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