It was an early Easter this year - March 22nd. They say that won't happen for another 800 years or so... thank GOD. It just didn't seem right to be celebrating St. Patrick's Day and Easter within 7 days of each other!!
The diets are going very well for Sam and I. I'm down to 157 and he's down to 174 - that's just crazy to see those numbers!!
So at least the diet is working..... the drinking issues I have with Sam are, well..... still an issue! He stopped drinking for I guess 5 weeks - since my last entry. He realized he fucked up bad and something needed to change.
I thought we resolved it.
So last week I made a comment that he should have a beer when we were out to dinner. I said he has proven that he can control his drinking and stop it before it got out of control. He smiled and said "thanks - that means alot"
It did to me too - if nothing else it was a MAJOR relief to see he could stop.
So last week we hit happy hour - when we came home we got in a heated topic about something else (it had to do with him not being in the mood) and the first thing he does is go get 3-4 beers. He planned on drinking them - but then I came down to discuss the situation and he decided not to. This was good.
The night before last we had wine with Easter dinner. He wanted to keep the buzz going apparently because after I went to bed that evenign he had two beers and a heavy drink of rum. WTF?? Are we alcoholic dependent again??
I didnt' even know he had the drinks - he told me by e-mail that Monday at work. I had no idea - except I did have to rescue a screaming baby from his arms again that morning. I didn't know why he was so PASSED OUT. I thought the baby had him up all night and he was exhausted. Afterall...it wasn't like he came to me and asked if he could have a few more drinks (or even tell me).
I can't stand it!! Everytime he drinks he puts the baby's life in danger - does he not realize that??? How can I rest at night worrying if the baby will be cared for properly if Sam responds to his cries...?? I can't. I can no longer trust him alone with the baby at night. Once again he has made me the single parent.
Once again - he swears he won't do that again.
Once again - he says he needs to stop and get it under control, because he honestly THINKS he can.
Once again - I don't know how to handle this!!! UGH!!!!
4:17 p.m. - 2008-03-25
Recent entries:
BAMBOOZLED? - 2016-10-04
Beer, Boobs and Bacon - 2016-09-30
Your Battery is Low - 2016-09-29
Day Drinking. Alone. - 2016-09-23
More Wine Please. - 2016-09-21
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