I'm depressed. I cant seem to shake it.
I've thought a lot lately about divorce and putting an end to the misery Sam and I keep finding ourselves dealing with at the end of the day.
Then I get even sadder. I want to hurt myself. Only to see if he would be hurt that I did it. Its a sympathy thing I know... and I know I would be too chicken to ever kill myself and not greedy enough to end my life and make my children suffer.
I'm just depressed and wished to hell I could shake this feeling. I cried all night last night. I got 3 hours sleep.
I got 2.5 the night before.
I'm supposed to be happy since we are going on vacation next week. I'm stressed because I have a lot of work to do both at work and at home.
I want to be numb. I wished I had no feelings to be hurt.
10:51 a.m. - 2009-08-12
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