I love the smell of rain on hot macadam.
I love the way my son's eyes light up when he sees me after school.
I love when I wake up smiling or laughing from a really great dream.
Why can't I think of these wonderful things when I'm so over-whelmed with bad feelings.... Feeling beset with negativity...?
Its funny because the one constant in my mind is that some day I'll be dead. We all die some time. And none of these little things that stresses us out so much will even matter. No one will remember and all the worry and emotional feelings will be lost or gone forever. All for nothing.
Why can't I even think about that.
Because its depressing! That's why! I'm just not that person, nor do I want to be. I'm someone who enjoys getting out, being active and feeding into other people's lively nature.
I feel like I'm losing a battle. I feel hopeless. I'm wondering when life will get easier or at least more enjoyable to handle the difficult times. Maybe when I feel like I'm wanted. Or needed.
Just how...?
So many questions.
2:08 p.m. - 2011-11-01
Recent entries:
BAMBOOZLED? - 2016-10-04
Beer, Boobs and Bacon - 2016-09-30
Your Battery is Low - 2016-09-29
Day Drinking. Alone. - 2016-09-23
More Wine Please. - 2016-09-21
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