The ins and out of 2012 so far...
Let's see... here's just a few highlighted points:
1) Sam is still drinking like he's on a mission of self-destruction. Yes, I know he's an alcoholic, although he is a hihgly functional alcoholic, which almost makes it worse. During the day he's Mr. Perfect. He does a great job and is extremely intellegent. At night..he drinks profusely and becomes a different person. He doesn't talk about his day, he doesn't help with the house work and rarely share's his day-to-day activities with me. On top of that, he get's very defensive and indignant to the point I feel like I can't do anything right. Luckily all the alcohol he consumes after work has had no negative effect on his abilities to do a great job during the day at work. That brings me to #2.
2) Sam got a promotion in December. As of January 1st, he was promoted to a Director position. Its a great complimnet and a nice promotion. And although its in the 6-digits, we both know he can be making WAY more if he left State Government for a position in the private industry. He's THAT good. He's smart, he's professional, he's likable and very committed to his work. Which brings me to #3
3) Sam is WAY over-worked!!! Which means he's also over-stressed. Which also stresss me out (and I've already got a stressful job during the day)!! I'm sure his stress just adds to his need to drink non-stop when he gets home. The stress and drinking appears to be bringing on bouts of depression. And... as a result, we are rarely initimate. Which goes into obvious point #4.
4)How are we going to survive this marriage? It really scares me some times... It just seems we are constantly at each other's throats. When he stresses, he drinks. His drinking adds to my stress. When I stress - I want sex. When he drinks, he doesn't want any! Oh boy..We don't even have snuggle up time or hold hands when we are alone anymore. In fact, I can officially count on ONE had how many times we have had sex this year!!
The good moments are far and few between. Just when I think he's improving, he goes right back to the excessive alchohol intake. And being sneaky about things... About three weeks ago, I realized that my pain-killers (prescribed for my Chronic back pain) were starting to disappear. The bottle was filled in December with a 40 count. It was only one month later and there were only 21 left. I know for a fact I've only taken ONE. ONE!!!! The only reason I though to check was because I picked up on something the night before. It was the morning after the 3rd time we had sex this year...(yeah, yeah, I'm counting sex times). When he came to bed that night before, he was horny. Something new. Then I took notice that he was acting almost like he was drugged up - not his usual drunk. Those who have alcoholic partners will know the difference. Oddly enough - the bigges difference I noticed was he was acting very lovingly, which is why it lead to sex.
So...I don't know how long he had been stealing my meds, but I decided to take care of the issue that day. Clearly telling him to NOT take my pills doesn't work. I've already had to tell him this 2 other times - after he finished off ALL my pills.
So...this time? I hid the pills in another container and filled the pain meds bottle with a similar sized vitamin. LMFAO!!
Let's just say he only took them for 3 more days after that. Either he realized they were switched out or he realized they were no longer making him 'feel good'. Either way - he's better off. Hehehe. Steal from me? I don't think so! Although...I did enjoy the sex that was probably a result of the pain meds he took that night. Funny now that I'm thinking about that as I write... oh well.
*sigh*
Finally the biggest news for me this year brings me to #5!
5) I'm changing jobs! This is the year I finally decided to get myself moving on my GTFO plan. I've been taking a night class for two weeks and will be graduating this Friday. I was a little nervous at first, but apparently I'm a 'natural' and my teacher says I'll get hired immediately! Woot Woot!!!
I'm so looking forward to starting my new career I want to jump right out of skin. Coming to my office each day stresses me out. Although my customers and co-workers tell me how much they appreciate my knowledge and expertise, my Supervisor hasn't shown me any sign of encouragement. In fact, lately it seems I keep getting slapped in the face. So much so, my co-workers have made it a point to ask why I stay. I enjoy the work, but not the stress of being ridiculed. Perhaps I knew this a while back, it just time for me to go. If I'm as bad as they tell me, they'll be glad to see me go.
Changing careers makes me a little nervous. I'm sure I will have days I won't want to go into work there too, but that compared to the fun behind doing the work...and knowing everyone around me will appreciate me, well...that's just priceless to me right now.
And, the best part is Sam's been very supportive.
More later.
Ciou!
12:40 p.m. - 2012-02-13
Recent entries:
BAMBOOZLED? - 2016-10-04
Beer, Boobs and Bacon - 2016-09-30
Your Battery is Low - 2016-09-29
Day Drinking. Alone. - 2016-09-23
More Wine Please. - 2016-09-21
My profile
Archives
Notes
Diaryland
Random
RSS
others:
blah-g
Barefoot Ruby
misfitstray
alwayshiding
nineofswords.
catsoul
jimbostaxi
astitchaway
starkitten01
sundaygirl
matt
dangerspouse
tomatogirl
curious-me