Last night I had a crazy bad dream. One of those that make you wake up and think - why on earth did that even come up??
I mean, I can't believe 3 years after leaving OAS offices I'm still having nightmares about that place. Last night's dream was about 8 girls who worked there, me included. We had all of our work done, so we decided to go out for some stress relief. Needless to say 6 of the 8 of us called off the next day because we were hungover...or tired. Funny part, was none of us called the boss (the old directer of my office). We called or text each other. Later that day I went into the office to grab some things and the only 2 that showed up said the boss was REALLY pissed off because NOBODY called her. I realized that we all communicated with each other because we relied on each other and the boss, well....she was just the boss. She only interjected when something happened where she didn't come out shining. Which wasn't really how it was in real life there, but in my dream it was. So the dream went downhill from there. The boss was so pissed, she end up moving us all out of our work ares and made it so none of us could work together or enjoy each others company any more. This is totally something she would have done too. I can't believe at 47 I'm still having nightmares about having to be accountable to that woman and her making me feel like I was disrespectful of authority or just even lacking in my duties. LOL
In reality, I don't feel that way at all. And I'm not even sure I've ever been told I had an issue with following command. If anything I may be thinking about my own past and how I learn to be accountable and respect the rules. It's been a recent topic at our house because we are really trying to explain to the 18 year old how she needs to be respectful and understand this is not her house and that we allow her to live here. She's in Air National Guard, but may not be leaving for basics for a few months yet, so we haven't pushed the issue of moving out our getting her own apartment. Yet she had a guy friend spend the night without asking if it would be alright with us. We let it go once, but have not had the chance to let her know, it wasn't ok. Other than saying, if ANYONE ever spends the night, she must let us both know. So the 2nd time, this week, she literally asked only hours before he was to come over. So we said no. There were two major issues here for me on this. I didn't have a problem with him staying over, its her projection of entitlement that concerns me. She often makes comments and acts like she is entitled to certain things. I don't think she intentionally disrespects us, but she doesn't seem to understand that life actions/decisions often involve more than just her. Its frustrating and I'm constantly wondering where I went wrong with this one.
The second thing is the lack of communication all around. She doesn't communicate with neither Sam or myself. When Sam speaks or lectures her about something, he fails to let me know as well. So then I will lecture her about something and when I tell him, THAT's when I find out he lectured her too. I don't like that we both lecture her to the point its overkill. One lecture is enough. I think. Who knows..... truth is, she's 18 and I'm not sure she will understand respect until she is faced with a drill sergeant at basics. I sure hope she learns something there.
8:23 a.m. - 2015-09-17
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