I hate when I have something on my mind to the point it consumes my every thought.
Today it was a picture I noticed on Sam's phone. He no longer communicates with me about anything, so I'm left with feeling insecure and unable to trust him.
I know, deep down, that he's not having any kind of relationship on the side. What I'm feeling is jealousy. I want his attention. And he has a picture he saved of a girl. Could be a random girl, I don't know. I just wish he would give me the attention - just an ounce. We've officially lived in the house for 6 months and we've had sex once. Once.
I can't live like this. Ugh.
Today he said we could come visit him at his office. I would normally be excited about that, but I'm so consumed by his pushing me away and feeling the need to keep pictures and videos on his phone to fulfill his needs. Damn Damn Damn.
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Maybe food will take my mind off all of this nonsense. LOL
Needless to say the Diet stopped. We had our friends come to visit and it was thrown completely out the window. LOL
The visit was so much fun! Nothing like awesome people visiting to remind you how much fun you can have. Love those guys. Sam needed that as much as I did.
Maybe Sam and I are just both going through some kind of depression. It's all so foreign to me.
I want to be happy. I want to be needed. I want friends. (locally)
8:10 a.m. - 2015-11-25
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