The hurricane came. The hurricane went. Just like my electrician. LOL
Who, by the way, never came back last week. I think I'll be burying that conduit line in my back yard myself. Oh well. THAT I can do.
The hurricane hit Saturday with full force. We had wind gusts up to 68mph, but other areas saw gusts at 99mph. Whoooosh!
Needless to say all my plant, flowers, and chairs on my front porch had to be relocated to the garage. Oh...and our huge trash bins too. I had to wake hubby up at 6 a.m. for his help with that one. He wasn't too happy. Oddly enough, not a single flower pot or chair moved on our back deck. Go figure.
Today is Monday, October 10th. My daughter, who got engaged last weekend, leaves for military tech school in Texas today. She'll be gone for 6 months.
We had a send-off lunch for her yesterday. We discussed some of the wedding plans as she will only have 4 weeks to turn it around when she comes back. That's right, 4 weeks! I'm already stressing for her. I felt like such the Debby Downer talking to her yesterday because she was casually mentioning her plans for wedding license, her hair, flowers, cake, bridesmaids, etc. etc. Except they weren't at all realistic. (That wasn't just my opinion). And from a previous conversation, I made it clear to her that although we have the means to pay for this wedding and we'll be happy to contribute, they will need to plan financially to pay for it themselves.
Its her wedding and I would like to just step back and let her do this. My problem is: I also know her! She can become volcanic. She is a person who stays quiet about things (stressing her out) and then blows up at the last minute. I'm trying to diffuse the nuclear bomb that may ruin her wedding day. LOL.
I care for her and want to help. But I admit too that I'm also a control-freak. So after yesterday's lunch I realize I need to be more positive and find a better approach to this. I just don't want her special day to be any more stressful than the norm. All brides stress on their wedding day.
The other side of this is her fiance's mom is eager to help. And, by the sounds of it, she's prepared to take over planning the whole wedding. I think maybe she was cheated out of a wedding with her first daughter. She says doing the planning with Sarah helps her feel closer to Danny (who is 5 states away in New Jersey where he's stationed). That's understandable.
And just to be clear, I'm ok with her helping out and doing the planning. After all, she is from South Carolina and probably has a lot of resources. She also just LOVES Sarah. Just call me if you need me.
So.... by Monday last week (two days after they were engaged), they already had decided to have the wedding at a Beach Resort in Charleston. Apparently his family owns a beach house in the Isle of Palms community which allows them to book events at this resort for a reduced rate. Cool - it'll be a beach(ish) wedding. Sam and I had a beach wedding. It was beautiful.
On Wednesday, she took Sarah dress shopping. Again, this was fine with me because Sarah wanted to go 'look' and time really is of the essence here. As they were on their way, Sarah thought to call me and ask if I was ok with this. I said of course. Honestly, I thought they were just going to look at some consignment shops to get an idea of what she likes. But nope. They went straight to a bridal shop.
Sarah found a beautiful gown and sent me pics. It was Gaaaahaaaorgeous. She said she wanted to buy it and asked if I was ok with not being there to see it in person. Pffft..... She REALLY doesn't know me. It's your money honey. Go for it. After giving my appropriate response of 'Absolutely, it's a beautiful gown', I asked how much does it cost. She responds with 'Its expensive'.
Hmmm. Ok, I was thinking she could find something at a consignment shop for about $200 that was perfect for a beach wedding. Plus she said she wasn't looking for anything elaborate. Just a simple wedding gown.
So I asked again. 'How much??'
$1800
Wait.....WHAT?? $1800 for a dress!!?? Ohh Emmmm Geeeee! Why would she spend so much? She said she wanted a simple wedding, less than 50 guests! Quick! Easy! In and Out! Bada bing, Bada Boom!
I could only respond 'Wow! Are you sure you want to spend that much on a dress? That's a LOT of money!'
She then informed me that his mother wanted to buy it for her. She insisted.
*sigh* Really?
Of course there were a few more texts, but it was mostly me attempting to stay calm saying it was very generous of his mother, and the dress was amazing. So his mom bought the dress.
Meanwhile I'm reeling with mixed emotions. Ugh. Mixed emotions because on one hand, I want her to continue understanding the value of a dollar. We (Sam and I) have raised the girls to not be frivolous and understand how to budget so they can continue a life of financial freedom. This is something their father, even to this day, can't seem to get under control. On the other hand, Sarah really HAS been money-wise most of her life. She does deserve to feel like a princess on her wedding day.
I'm wondering now if his family plans on paying for the whole wedding. I asked Sarah for his mom's number so we may discuss wedding plans while she is away. And to thank her for buying that gown. Which I wasn't even sure how to do. I managed with a simple. Thank you, it was very generous of you.
Now I'm nervous about meeting with her. I suppose on our way to the airport today, I'm going to have to ask Sarah if she knows what his parents are anticipating from our end of things.
Because, honestly, I was expecting that we would probably offer around $500 (but spend $1000) towards this wedding. A week ago, I felt that was a modest yet generous amount to contribute. That's $1000 more than our parents put towards ours. Because they didn't have it and we understood that. AND I manage to pull off the first and second wedding for $500. I am VERY resourceful. Also, that was over 10 years ago. I still feel $1000 is generous, but now I'm wondering if HIS mom understands.
Listen.... I check my notes. I'm open to suggestions here. Am I worrying about nothing?
7:46 a.m. - 2016-10-10
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