Friday night. He drank wine while pappy and mom was there. He drank so much in two hours he had no recollection of the rest of the night's activities.
He stayed up the entire night. I found out the next morning he took 5 painkillers in a 6 hour period. WTF?
He lied so many times thruogh the night about stopping drinking and coming to bed. Even the next morning when I told him to go to bed - he went up and sat on the computer.
I called him on his actions later that day - Saturday evening. After he finally slept and sobered up. I was stuck with the kids all day by myself which wasn't a bad thing - it was a good day. They were nice and getting along. Sammy was cute. But it was suppose to be my day to spend time for me. Time to do what I wanted for a change. For me. But that never happened. Not Saturday, not even Sunday.
He says, once again, he wants to fix it. He admitted to the unfaithfulness once again too. And by unfaithful I mean strictly internet chatting - not actual act of cheating. I would just prefer he come to me for that. So I appreciate the honesty, but it doesn't change that he did it when he knows it hurts me. Why?
He says he is going to do counseling. Really do it this time. I think he's just found new things to say to try to convince me he will really do something this time. I dont believe, nor do I really care. I'm married to him and do not have time for anything else right now. Maybe some day I will.
If I ever find that time to get out by myself maybe I'll find that something to make me want to care again. Something that'll make me feel good about myself.
I have a boss that treats me lke dirt. I have a husband who gives me little respect. I have great kids - for that I'm thankful.
Please let him tell the truth. Just this once. Please.
12:57 p.m. - 2008-09-08
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