A new day...
Trying hard to move on. Trying to tell myself I'm in my Get Over It stage. Its a lie. I can only think of him and hope and pray he'll come to his sense and come back to me. Our last words were he HAS to break it OFF with NO commuciation - he even capitalized those letters. I simply replied. I understand. But I don't. I just don't understand why he's not with me now. I'm really afraid this is it though. I know he's scared and I know he was backed into a corner. How can he just throw it all away. I want to be mad at him so much, but I just can't. I refuse to think that everything we said and did was a lie, because I know at the time it wasn't. It only turned into a lie when he said he couldn't chose me over her. He's just so special and I will truly be upset for a long long time... I'm trying so hard to be upbeat and my usual self - trying to flirt with people, trying to tell myself that I need someone to take my mind off of him. God I'm trying, I'm trying. Not succeeding. But then its only day 1.
1:21 p.m. - 2005-08-03
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